Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
two words: eviction party
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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