No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
