just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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