if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
