I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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