so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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