hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
