i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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