...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
