I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize