why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
