It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
