Where did you get a picture of my penis
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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