I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
