My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
