she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
