No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
