apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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