Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize