Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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