wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
if only i could text you this smell
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
