I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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