3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
