Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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