thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
