Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
