I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
