Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
