at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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