We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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