He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
