awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
