sarcasm needs its own font
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
