can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
