your parents love me but you hate me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
