Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize