I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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