perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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