Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
