lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
