You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
