When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
