Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
