If i come over, it means nothing
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
