It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
