Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
