READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
