so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
