Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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