Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize