and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
