Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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