Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
