hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
