that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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