That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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