So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
